Life happens-sometimes it's full of wonderful rides-new experiences,happy memories and lovely days.Sometimes you feel like you hit a brick wall-scraped and bruised,heart torn,knees scraped and head spinning.This summer has had both.It's been a learning,stretching time for me.God's grace is there for me-any time of the day or night.It's up to me if I decide to accept it or try things on my own.I've tried both ways.Believe me-the Father knows what he's doing a whole lot more than what I do,so it's better for me to humble my lil self down and accept the fact that He is brainier and more of a super-person than me.I may as well graciously accept His overwhelming love,stength and wisdom.He really does know what He is doing and does have a reason for it.
I need to relish in the fact that He is doing things for my good because He loves me so much-as much as if I would be his only child.Too often I selfishly go thru the day,stressing out if I don't get everything accomplished I wanted to-forgetting that my main purpose is to bring Him glory and to share His love with others.Not to have the cleanest house or the tidiest lawn on the block.Not to have the smartest,best mannered kid.Not to have dinner prepared with a smile and wait on Hubby hand and foot when he comes home.Sure~teaching my son,pampering Hubby and keeping a tidy place are ways of showing love,but I need to do it to bring glory to Him,not myself.I'm trying to work on it-I promise!=)
So,if you're busy or feeling down,have hope.As long as you're alive,you can redo,learn more and try harder.God is so chuck-full of awesomeness.Take time to take some of it in every day.He wants to see you succeed.He needs to push you thru hard stuff occasionally to strengthen your faith muscles.He loves to see you enjoy life to the max-so love up on people,do more of what you love and soak up every minute of the day.Make your life count.
I've learned that I have enjoyed life so much more by shortening those to-do lists and spending more time on the important things is so much more rewarding.Spending time with my lil one is way more fun than having all the closets organized anyway!!I mean who snoops in my closets to see what I'm hoarding anyway?I've been learning that I'm a total nerd-I like things organized,color-coded and pretty much perfect.Hubby is the free spirit-as long as it works who cares how it looks,spur-of-the-moment trips and parties...He's my hero.I'm trying to learn from him.Being a free spirited person looks so much more relaxing and fun.I've been trying it-it's great.Note to self-Relax a little,God has it under control and I am free to REALLY enjoy life the way I'm supposed to.Even tough times aren't so bad when God's on your side and has it all planned out for you!!I'm not sure if all my ramblings are making sense-so if you're still reading,maybe they do at least a little.
So,to those of you who don't have Facebook or hear from me much-here's my year in a few pics and stories~
My Mom,6 sisters and I went to Navarre beach in May for a week.Was so much fun to be together again,relax and spoil the babies.There were 3 lil ones-all crawling,so it was quite interesting.We all piled in a 15 passenger van,cooked all our own meals while we were there except one and made a ton of memories.I think it should become a tradional thing!!
He totally loved the beach!!
The three littles-ready to go shopping.
There was an abundance of babysitters.=)...and cuteness...
We found out we were expecting again in Minnesota,but God had other plans.I had morning sickness for a month then started bleeding one day.The ultrasound showed no heartbeat.Hubby was at work-I was in the room alone.Thankfully,my sisters could take me to the Dr.Hearing those words tore my heart ,even tho I knew it was coming.I lost the baby on July 2nd and had to do a D&C surgery since not everything was gone.(I hosted a July 4th party-call me crazy-I was.I made decorations,the whole 9 yards and totally overdid it!)Those days of waiting were tough.Why did we have to go thru this again?I was ready to just get it over with.I tried being brave,but I was disappointed.My dreams were shatterd.Pictures of me holding my lil baby kept dancing thru my head.It seemed easier to accept this time somehow,tho.Maybe because I had time to talk it out with God before I actually lost it.Maybe because I had a lil ray of sunshine to keep me busy while I waited to miscarry.All I know is that God has a reason.He knows what it was like to give up a child-heart-wrenching,something others don't fully understand unless they experience it themselves.I can't imagine to watch your child suffer like He did.Those 10 days were the hitting-a-brick-wall kind.But they taught me to give up myself, and my hopes and trust that He knew what he was doing.We named the baby Nevaeh Starr.I wanted something to do with Heaven since I know that's where our lil darling is.Nevaeh is heaven spelled backwards.Starr was to remind me that even thru the "darkness" a light of hope still shines thru.I know Nevaeh is a girl's name and we don't know if it was a girl since I was only 9 weeks,but I just have a feeling it was.I had bought a few girl outfits and kept thinking of girl nurseries,we really wanted a girl... Lil one,we miss you!!I know you are having a grand time with Shyloh up there and are being spoiled by Grandma and Great-Grandma.We have your picture on the fridge.Every time I see a star I think of you.We would love to have you here with us.You and Kobe would have so much fun together!But we know you are happiest with Jesus,so we are happy too.We had a party to celebrate your life the night before we found out you had breathed your last breath on earth.You brought smiles to our faces when we talked about you.You will always have a special place in our hearts and we can't wait to meet you one day.I know you are beautiful!!
On our anniversary trip,we also took in a Braves game in St. Louis and got to meet a new neice in Kentucky.She's adorable!!
I made this lil outfit for the lil cutie.
Till next time~
vintage maedel
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